Saturday, October 27, 2012

"I Don't Think I Slept"


Wow! It’s been a week since I did my blog post about my same-sex attraction. First of all, I want to thank everyone who has shown me support in that time (even if all you did was “like” the post on Facebook). It means a lot to me to know I have that support, because, I’ll be honest, last Saturday was the scariest day of my life!

It’s been amazing though! Some of the aftermath has been absolutely miraculous! This is actually going to be the first of hopefully many posts I do about being an SSA Missionary (SSA=Same-Sex Attraction). So, here it goes:

Saturday night, the day I posted about my SSA, I got a message on Facebook from one of my friends (let’s call him Steve). He’d read my post and told me about his brother who deals with SSA. Steve told me that he had found out about his brother’s SSA during his mission. He told me, “I knew he had some struggles, but had no idea that was it. I don't think I slept that entire week. I couldn't concentrate. I had no idea what to do. I felt at that point in my mission everything was going great. I knew everything I needed to do to help my investigators, but I had no idea how to help my brother. I just didn't want to lose him. I don't want to lose him.”

I texted Steve and a couple days later he came over to my apartment. We talked for probably about an hour. He told me where his brother was at spiritually and I told him about my SSA. The answer to his question, how to help his brother, was difficult to answer, because I’ve been there before when someone you love chooses to act on their SSA. In the end, I told him, “Love him. Make sure he knows you love him. If he doesn’t know that, he will have no reason to come back to look to the church for support when he needs it.”

Before Steve left that night, I lent him my copy of “Voices of Hope” and told him to read a story out of there. After he left, I realized how much I felt like a missionary. Despite not having a name tag or spreading the gospel in a typical sense, I felt like a missionary. And just like any missionary, love is the most important tool you can have for your investigators. Love will show in your actions as you try to help them come to the Savior, whether they deal with SSA or not.

I say this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

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