Sunday, November 28, 2010

Locked Out


During the last week that I was in the Heart Lake ward on my mission, I had one of my anxiety attacks (one of the ones that ended up bringing me home). Because I wasn’t able to work, because of the anxiety attack, my companion (Elder Call… you’ll probably hear a lot about him) took me to the temple grounds, since the temple has a calming effect on me. However, since this was a Monday, the temple was closed and the gate into the temple grounds was locked.

After the stress that I’d had, I had really been looking forward to being on the temple grounds on that day, but the most of my body I could get onto the temple grounds was the front of my foot. However, I got a little bit of an interesting insight from this experience.

After finding myself locked out of the temple grounds, I promised myself that when I got to the gates of the Celestial Kingdom, I would not be locked out. I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure that I won’t be trying to sneak my foot under the gate, just so that part of me is in the Celestial Kingdom. I will live worthy to gain entrance to the kingdom of my Father.

(The photo at the beginning of this post is a picture I took of the Toronto Temple that night, when I was locked out)

Monday, November 22, 2010

Be Still and Know

Today was a little bit of a hard day for me (for some reason). I think it was because I didn't sleep very well last night. Regardless, it's just after 10 PM now and I felt about as worn out as I could possibly feel and the noise at my apartment was suddenly too much. I closed my computer, turned on a specific song on my iPod and really took in the words. They touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Here they are:


Be still and know that He is God.
Be still and know that He is holy.
Be still, oh restless soul of mine,
Bow before the prince of peace
And let the noise and clamber cease

Be still and know that He is God.
Be still and know that He is faithful.
Consider all that He has done.
Stand in awe and be amazed.
Know that He will never change.
Be still.

Be still and know that He is God.
Be still and know that He is God.
Be still and know that He is God.
Be still.
Be speechless.

Be still and know that He is God.
Be still and know He is our Father.
Come rest your head upon His breast.
Listen to the rhythm of
His unfailing heart of love
Beating for the little ones
Bidding each of us to come
Be still.

The imagery of that last part... "Come rest your head upon His breast. Listen to the rhythm of His unfailing heart of love"... that's what I needed, I think. The image in my mind of being held in the arms of my Heavenly Father in my times of trial... It's what I desire the most right now... I know that as I follow His will, I'll make it to where I will be able to be held in His arms one day.

--Spencer