2022: Year in Review

Back when I was actually writing on this blog consistently(ish), I had tried to continue a family tradition of reflecting on the previous year and look ahead into the new year. So now, five years since the last time I did this, I'm back at it again.

Neatest Place You were in 2022

We didn't go a lot of places this year, thanks to working off some loans from physical therapy school. However we did make it up to Oklahoma with my wife's family. It's the second year we've gone and I had more fun this year than last. Always a blessing to see my little girl with her cousins.

Biggest Surprise of the Year

I'm not sure if it was the "biggest" surprise but it's had some long lasting consequences.  In June, I was transferred to the other clinic to replace someone. So learning to adapt to another clinic (even in the same company) was a stretch. I'm pleased to report I have adapted and I think I've grown from it too.

Best Movie/TV Show You Watched

I've narrowed it to my top three. Although many people didn't like it, I loved She-Hulk (except for part of the finale, which I talk about here). It was a breath of fresh air from normal Marvel content. There was also the Obi-Wan Kenobi series, beautifully returning us to Ewan McGregor's character and illustrating the trauma Obi-Wan had to deal with as he tried to hide out as "Ben". Lastly, I finally got into Star Trek with Strange New Worlds. It was a good beginner series for Star Trek and I'm sure it made my trekkie father proud.

Saddest Day/Time in 2022

My parents came to visit us in Texas for a week and a half this summer. It was wonderful to see my little girl playing with Gramma and Papa. One of the nice things about living in Texas is that we get my parents all to ourselves. They even got to babysit while Caren and I went to our full anatomy ultrasound. Sometimes we'll still get chatter of "Gramma n' Papa's camper". So as wonderful as their visit was, their departure was that much sadder. It's always hard to say goodbye to loved ones, so I don't think it would be an exaggeration to say that goodbye was among the saddest days of the year.

Happiest Day/Time in 2022

In June, there was a day that I was at work and Caren called me with our pregnancy test blood work results. With the happy news on my mind, I was pretty much bouncing around the clinic for the rest of the day! Can't get much happier than that!

Best Book/Magazine You’ve Read

My friend Preston Jenkins (referenced in a General Conference talk by Elder Holland) wrote a book about his experience with his missionary service and his same-sex attraction (sound familiar?). Because of the similarities in our stories, particularly with coming home early from our missions, this book nearly brought me to tears more than once. I had to be careful listening to the audiobook too close to work. And then I got a hard-copy of the book for Christmas! Here's the Amazon link if you're interested. Also check out Preston's Voices of Hope video and his podcast (though he's currently on hiatus with the podcast).

Things you will remember from the news

If you know me, you'll know I avoid the news (they just catastrophize everything... hard to trust them). The news of Jason David Frank passing broke my heart though. For those who don't remember him, he was the original green Power Ranger. What's worse than his passing is the possibility that it was suicide (I didn't hear whether that was ever confirmed or not). I wrote a tribute to JDF for LDS Geeks, but I just want to say here that I detest suicide. It doesn't make anything better. So if you're struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, tell someone. Please open up.

Favorite Talk in Church/Conference

April 2022 had some wonderful talks about missionary work. To be honest, they were triggering for me, after my experiences on my mission. And the comments online about the "expectations" to serve a mission, even more of a trigger, but I stand by the words of President Nelson and President Ballard. To read more about my thoughts regarding the April 2022 talks, check out what I wrote on LDS Geeks.

What would you like to do in 2023?

Baby girl coming later this month or in February (duh). But besides the obvious, pending finances, maybe a trip to Utah? We might be taking another trip to Oklahoma this summer. Mostly I'm just excited for family and friends to visit for baby girl's blessing in a few months.

2016: Year in Review

A bit late this year (not surprising since I’ve neglected this blog in favor of Mormon Geeks for a lot of last year), but despite the “tragedy” that was 2016, I had a good year. So it’s worth going back over.

Neatest Place You were in 2016

I had a lot of great adventures this year. Disneyland was amazing of course, especially with my little niece and nephew. I also always love the Sacred Grove. As far as new places, I went to Oregon/Washington for a retreat and that was wonderful. Granted, I didn’t see a lot outside that retreat, but that was good. I also took a spur of the moment trip out to Virginia/DC which was thrilling for me. Great to see some amazing friends and visit the DC temple, where my parents were married 33.5 years ago.

Biggest Surprise of the Year

I had many big surprises this year that were a bit too personal to share online. One that I will share is how I surprised myself by taking a spur of the moment trip (only buying my plane ticket nine days beforehand) to visit some great friends (one of them didn’t know I was coming until he showed up).

Dan (on the left) didn't know I was coming. hehehe.

Best Movie/TV Show You Watched

I watched some great stuff this year. “Jessica Jones” was great (though I could have done without the three gratuitous sex scenes… had to take my headphones off for that); it was engaging and suspenseful. “Moana” was wonderful in challenging me to test my limits and stretch myself to be more myself. I also watched “My Name is Khan” and “Temple Grandin” as research for my final research paper at BYU on how autism is portrayed in the media. Of all the things I watched, those two were the most accurate in my opinion.

Goal for next Disneyland trip: Meet Moana

Saddest Day/Time in 2016

Saddest time was just all the goodbyes I went through. After the retreat I went on, it was hard to say goodbye to new friends. After Virginia, it was hard to say goodbye to my buddies. Sucks to live so far away from good friends.

Saying goodbye to these two is always hard.

Happiest Day/Time in 2016

Happiest time this year had to do with the spiritual environments I was in. The Sacred Grove is always a wonderful place for me. This year I got to go with my friend Greg while he and his family were in Palmyra for Pageant. I also was blessed to be able to attend multiple Christian music concerts. My favorites were Matthew West performing “Grace Wins” (one of my favorite songs ever right now) live and being able to sing along.

I got to meet Matthew West and thank him for "Grace Wins"

Best Book/Magazine You’ve Read

I’ll be honest… I don’t know if I read any new books. Definitely nothing of significance. I did however finish the Book of Mormon again at least once this year. Always great to keep going through the word of God.

Things you will remember from the news

More like things I wish I could forget from the news. So much fuss over celebrity deaths. Don’t get me wrong; it’s always sad when someone dies, but celebrities rarely have a personal impact on my life. Also there’s all the election stuff… I feel like Facebook has gotten much more political. Maybe I’m just noticing it now.

Even more annoying now after the fact.

What would you like to do in 2017?

Lots I’d like to do. I want to travel lots. Being out of school now I want to take advantage of my singleness to visit friends, see new places, and have quality time with family. Canada, DC, and NYC are all on my list.

Maybe Disney again this year too? Probably not but I can wish

2015: Year in Review

Another year, another go at the family tradition. Here we go :)

Neatest Place You were in 2015

            Spain! During my study abroad we went all over Spain. My favorite places throughout the country (or at least the three I always tell people about) are Córdoba, Barcelona, and Granada. I was amazed by how much I loved the country. It was beautiful and it felt almost familiar to me. It was a wonderful opportunity to work on my Spanish (still needs work) and get cultured.

Biggest Surprise of the Year

            My biggest surprise this year was work. I quit my job at the MTC Bookstore back in April when I left for my study abroad in Spain. Partway through my study abroad, I learned that I wouldn’t be doing EFY as I’d planned (more on that later), so it became necessary that I start looking for other work. I applied at company called Chrysalis (helping clients with cognitive disabilities live as normal of a life as possible) and got an interview with them shortly after getting back from Spain. I’d originally thought I’d just work as a support staff until I graduated and then MAYBE apply for a full-time position as a house manager or something at the office. In November, the opportunity arose to apply for a manager position, so I applied, because why not? I didn’t get the position I applied for, but they offered me a different manager position at a new house they were setting up, but wouldn’t be open for a couple months. I accepted and did manager training. Then last week I got the news that the new house was taking longer to set up than they originally thought, so instead they wanted me to be manager at the house right next door to where I’ve been working. So I’m going into my last few months of school with a full-time job. I’m both excited and scared! This will be interesting!

Best Movie/TV Show You Watched

            For this one I’ll just lump all of the Marvel Cinematic Universe together. I started really getting into it this year. I saw Avengers: Age of Ultron while I was in Spain (I thought I was going to have to wait until the end of June to go see it) and then later on in the year I saw Ant-Man. Loved both of them! Also, I got into Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD show on TV. A lot of people had issues with season 1 of that show, but I honestly loved it (granted, I also binge-watched the first two seasons of the show over two grave shifts). This year I’m looking forward to Captain America: Civil War and Doctor Strange.

Saddest Day/Time in 2010

            Finding out I wouldn’t be doing EFY. Still don’t know why. Probably never will. I am just grateful to my Heavenly Father for helping me through that hard time. It still hurts at times (I remember crying uncontrollably the day I found out), but at least I’ve been able to see God’s hand through it. For example, if I’d done EFY this summer, I wouldn’t be starting as a manager at work this month, having a full-time job secured before I’m even graduated.

Happiest Day/Time in 2010

            In August, my little brother Tyler got home from his mission. That made it the perfect time for everyone to go back to Alberta for the first time since our family cruise two years ago. With everyone home, and both sets of grandparents there, we got a bunch of family pictures done and I got to spend time with all five of my nephews (as well as all of my siblings, of course). I’m grateful for my family and the temple covenants that bond us. We have our issues, like every family, but I love them.

Best Book/Magazine You’ve Read

            Oddly enough I’m going to pick a textbook. “Spiritual Exodus” was the textbook I used for my Addiction Recovery and Healing class. Great gospel perspective on addiction and finding recovery, both for the addict and for the spouse. My professor from the class (the one who wrote the book) is working on a website for it as well. So that won’t cost $40 at least.

Things you will remember from the news

            What I will remember from the media is the response to the new church policies this fall.  I’ve intentionally steered away from this subject on my blog, so I will just say this on the subject: I know that God calls prophets and apostles to lead us and to teach us His will. I do not know the meaning of all things, but I have a faith in God that includes the equal chance for all of His children to reach the Celestial Kingdom, regardless of their situations.

What would you like to do in 2016?

            Lots of things I want to do in 2016. I got accepted for the Hill Cumorah Pageant again, so (pending getting work off) I’m going there. I’d also like to graduate (planning on walking in April). I’d like to do another mud run this year, since I enjoyed the Dirty Dash. I also wouldn’t mind getting a girlfriend or at the very least going to Disneyland again. I’m mostly just looking to some more adventures and growth in the next year. 

2014: Year in Review

I’m a bit behind, but it’s time to do the 2014 year in review. I’ve done it on my blog for the past two years. Before that it was a family tradition to keep record of the highlights of the year.

Neatest Place You were in 2014

My favorite place that I was this past year was the Hill Cumorah Pageant. Pageant was an amazing spiritual experience and I made some amazing friends. Being back where I first felt like I found myself in 2009 helped strengthen my testimony. I made amazing friends who I still love to keep in touch with. Since getting home they have been some of my greatest supports in my trying times.

Mom and Dad came to see Pageant a couple of the nights

Biggest Surprise of the Year

My biggest surprise of the year (or at least one of them) was probably while I was at Disneyland. I’ve always loved the character Dug from Up. I was at Disneyland with David and as we were walking through California Adventure we found out there was an opportunity for a meet and greet with Dug. I had heard about that happening at Disney World, but I didn’t know he was in California Adventure as well. So I was able to give that big fluffy loving puppy a big hug! SQUIRREL!

"I have just met you and I love you."

Best TV Show/Movie You Watched

The best movie I watched this year was The Lego Movie. Super fun and it spoke to my inner child. Not only that but every time I watch it I get such a self-esteem boost! I am important because I am me and I can change the world just by doing that. Most simply put, I am the special! One of my favorite exchanges in the movie is between Emmett and Vitruvius when Emmett finds out that he is not really the Special but it’s up to him to become the hero anyway. He says to ghost Vitruvius, “how could I just decide to believe that I'm special when I'm not?” Vitruvius replies, “Because the world depends on it.” My world depends on me choosing to believe I’m special and that decision can change the world.

Garrett and Sara dressed as Emmett and Wildstyle for Halloween

Saddest Day/Time in 2014

I went through a bit of a hard time during the end of the year. School is tiring and life is stressful, self-esteem can be hard to maintain. Basically it’s life. I am grateful for the Lord and His grace to help me get to where I am now and that I don’t always have to feel like that. Particularly November was hard. I won’t go into personal details, but I went through some stuff trying to figure out who I am. Though it was a dark and gloomy place, I am grateful that the Lord was able to teach me and that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I don’t have to stay there forever.

Happiest Day/Time in 2014

With such great adventures this year it’s hard to pick one happiest time. One of my happiest moments was being in the Sacred Grove again while I was in Pageant. I got the opportunity to walk through the grove, praying, reading, and recording my thoughts. I wrote my testimony while I was there and I am grateful for the Spirit I was able to feel while I was there in the sacred, hallowed wood.

(Thank you Emily for taking this picture)

Best Book/Magazine You’ve Read

I’m not sure if I read any new books this year. However, I did re-read “The Brothers” by Christ Stewart this summer and then I listened to it again while I was on my trip to California with David. This book has helped me feel of my Savior’s love. I’m not saying the book is doctrine, but some of the parts of the book involving Jehovah or the Father talking to the children have been amazing in helping me feel of their love and support for me in my journey. One of my favorite parts is near the end of the book; The Father tells His children that though they will be leaving for Earth soon and they will forget their lives with Him, He will send them reminders of His love: a mother’s kiss, a father’s blessing, words of the prophets, etc. I am grateful to have these things in my life to remind me of how much my Father loves me.

I love forward to this hug

Things You Will Remember From the News

The biggest thing I remember from the news this year is the death of Robin Williams. I grew up watching Aladdin and Mrs. Doubtfire and I remember watching Dead Poet Society in high school. Hearing that he had committed suicide was a surprise to me. It was a reminder to me that depression doesn’t discriminate. In addition, I find it amazing and admirable that though he was hurting on the inside, he still made it his purpose in life to help others laugh. That being said, I’d like to state the fact that suicide is preventable. I went to a suicide prevention training this fall for my internship and that’s one thing I came away from it with: Depression is treatable and suicide is preventable. If you are struggling with depression and/or suicide ideation, please get help. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline for help at any time if you’re struggling: 1 (800) 273-8255. Please don’t give up.

RIP Robin Williams

Favorite Talk in Church/Conference

I don’t know if it was my favorite, but he is definitely my favorite speaker. This past April, Elder Holland talked about standing up for our faith. It may not be popular (it rarely is) and it may not be easy (I’d say it never is), but because we are followers of Jesus Christ, it’s something we must do. Though others may tear the church down, we have to stand strong in our standards and fight against the adversary. We need to love our brothers and sisters, despite persecution we may receive. We are the people of Christ and we need to show it.

What Would You Like to Do In 2015?

2015 has the making of a crazy adventure for me. I’ve been accepted to a study abroad in Spain this spring term (May and June) and then I’m hoping to be an EFY counselor for the rest of the summer. In addition to all of that, this fall I start my final year of my undergraduate degree. Also, if all goes well with my seminary teacher training class this semester, I’ll be teaching seminary this fall. The only thing for sure is that I will be going to Spain. Everything else I’d love to do, that’s in the Lord’s hands and as I surrender my will to Him, I know He can make more out of my life than I ever could.

¡Estoy animado para ir a ese templo en Madrid!

Alright, that’s my year in review for 2014. Hopefully yours was good too. I’m looking forward to another great year of testimony building, growth, and adventures. It may not be easy, but I think it can always be miraculous if we let it (remind me of that the next time I start stressing).

2013: Year in Review

Last year I did a 2012: Year in Review post, based off a New Year’s tradition that my family has done as long as I can remember. I figured I’d keep up that tradition by doing another Year in Review blog post this year. So here we go…

Neatest Place You were in 2013

Again, like last year, I feel like I haven’t gone far. Other than Alberta and Idaho Falls, I have only been outside of Utah once this year, when we went on our family cruise to the Caribbean. It was really cool to go to Mexico and finally use the Spanish I had been studying for three semesters. Belize was really relaxing, just spending the day at an ecotourism spot with my parents and my baby nephew Carson. And in Honduras I went zip-lining with my siblings and my two older nephews. I’m not sure I could pick one of those ports as my favorite, but it was all definitely adventure!

Mexico! (August 2013)

Biggest Surprise of the Year

There isn’t one “surprise of the year” for me. Looking back to where I was a year ago, there is no comparison. A year ago, I was incredibly codependent. A year ago, I did not believe I could do my classes. A year ago, I wasn’t sure I was worth loving. Now, I have hope. I am beginning to learn what it means to love myself and truly care about myself.

My Voice(s) of Hope Shoot (September 2013)

Best TV Show/Movie You Watched

Easy answer. Doctor Who. I got introduced to it by my friend Josh at the beginning of the year and Garrett and I quickly took to it. Enough that we dressed up as two of the Doctors for Halloween and the Doctor Who 50^th Anniversary Special… And I’m looking for an excuse to dress up in my Doctor costume again. It’s a science fiction show, but I’ve also had some amazing insights from watching it about depression/suicide and about agency/emotions. It continues to inspire me and continues to give me hope.

Garrett and I as the Doctors for Halloween (October 2013)

Saddest Day/Time in 2013

This is the one where I get vulnerable I suppose. The moment I was lowest emotionally this year. Back in March, I had a day where I was more depressed than I can ever remember before. So low that I felt I was unworthy of suicide. That day I was blessed to feel support from many friends and it was then that I began working hard on my self-esteem to keep that from happening again.

Jordan River temple trip (July 2013)

Happiest Day/Time in 2013

In contrast to March, the past few months have been the best part of my year. I have felt more comfortable with myself and more okay with who I am. I still have a lot to work on, but the past few months have been the healthiest for me, I think. I am aware of many of my weaknesses, but I am willing to work on it. I will continue to work on it throughout the rest of my life.

Quidditch for Garrett's birthday (September 2013)

Best Book/Magazine You’ve Read

Of all the books I’ve read in the past year, the one that I enjoyed the most and the one that has changed me the most was “The Continuous Atonement” by Brad Wilcox. I read it earlier this year and it completely changed how I see the Atonement. Put simply: Life is not about me being perfect; it’s about me never giving up and about trusting that Christ can help me become a better man.

Things You Will Remember From the News

I’ll be honest. I don’t watch or read the news much at all. The only news clip I remember watching was after the Reconciling Faith and Feelings Conference in November. ABC did a short story on it, the purpose, and the success that they had.

Reconciling Faith and Feelings website

Favorite Talk in Church/Conference

My favorite conference talk this year would probably be Elder Holland’s talk about depression and other mental disorders in October. Having felt depressed, it felt nice to have that feeling validated. Though never diagnosed with depression, I have felt depressed. I also really loved Elder Bednar’s talk from April. It helped me understand the Law of Chastity a lot better and to appreciate more the great trust and gift that the Lord has given mankind.

Jeffrey R. Holland

What Would You Like to Do In 2014?

Well, I know one thing I want to do in 2014: I want to travel out east again. I was accepted for the Hill Cumorah Pageant a couple weeks ago, so I’ll be spending July 4-20 in Palmyra. Somewhere around that (either before or after Pageant) I’m going to visit Toronto again (I am not getting that close to my mission and not visiting people that I love). Besides that, I am going to keep working on my degree, learning what I need to in order to provide for my family. I am going to keep working on myself in therapy and related groups, so that regardless of what happens (marriage, singleness, or whatever) I can be happy. I am going to continue to learn what it means to be a missionary and a disciple of Christ.

Garrett and I at the Hill Cumorah (July 2012)
I'm going back!!!!

2012: Year in Review

It’s hard to believe that 2012 is over. In some ways it seems like just yesterday that I was in California with my family celebrating the New Year. Yet in other ways it seems like it’s been forever. It’s certainly been an interesting year. A year ago, I would have never expected that I would be where I am. Like many people, the end of the year is a time of reflection for me. In my family, for many years we had a tradition (typically falling on the first Monday of the New Year, for FHE) where we did a “Year in Review”, where we had different topics to get us thinking about things that had happened during the year and what we would remember. So, that’s what I want to do today: My 2012 Year in Review.

Neatest Place You were in 2012

Honestly, most of my year was spent in Utah, no further north than Bountiful and no further south than Provo. The only big excursion I did was my trip out east this past summer. I flew out to Grand Rapids, Michigan where I saw Garrett for the first time in two years, we drove out to Toronto to visit people from my mission, and then we drove down to Niagara Falls and Palmyra before heading back to Michigan. Other than Michigan, I’d been to all of those places before, but it was a great experience being there again with my best friend.

Me and Garrett on our trip, while at Niagara Falls

Biggest Surprise of the Year

The biggest surprise probably was the prompting I received in mid-August, while reading Voice(s) of Hope, to start blogging about my SSA. It seemed to come out of nowhere and it stuck with me. I thought about it and prayed about it for about two months before I ended up doing it. I knew it’d be scary (like I’ve said before, October 20 was the scariest day of my LIFE) but I was also overwhelmed with all of the positive feedback (again, thank you all for your support and for giving me that positive feedback). Honestly, I feel like that prompting (though directly only got me to start blogging) got me to do the Voice(s) of Hope project and also to get more involved in the North Star community, which brought about another big surprise: I felt at home there, in ways that I don’t know if I’ve ever felt before.

Josh and Lolly Weed's Voice(s) of Hope shoot

Best TV Show/Movie You Watched

Anyone who knows me relatively closely knows that I’m a big fan of the ABC show “Once Upon a Time”. Though the acting can be kind of corny and the writing can be kind of cheesy… I figure, it’s a fairy tale show; of course it’ll be that way. One of the themes I love the most in the show is the idea of “true love” typically used in the sense of “true love’s kiss”. Unlike most versions of fairy tale stories, in this show “true love” doesn’t mean the same as “soul mates”. It has more to do with who you truly love, whether it’s romantically with a couple or from a mother to her son.

Mom and Dad and True Love's Kiss

Saddest Day/Time in 2012

The worst part of this year for me was around February and March. After coming home from serving in Calgary, I was a bit of a wreck in some ways. I felt like a failure. I felt like I had been cheated from what I wanted to do the most. In February and March, I dealt with some major depression, trying to overcome those feelings. The feeling of being a failure as a missionary translated into my schoolwork, making me lose confidence in my ability to fulfill my assignments. I remember one day in particular that was bad… I was crying in my car about being home from my mission… I wanted to be in the mission field and yet I also knew I would be suffering emotionally if I was out there. It seemed like there was no way that I could be happy with myself. That night, I talked to my trainer, Elder Jared Call, on the phone and he helped me realize that it was okay to feel that pain and it was okay to feel that way. Honestly, that night was the beginning of my journey to become happy again with myself.

Elder Call visiting me in Provo a year ago

Happiest Day/Time in 2012

It’s hard to say what the happiest time of the year has been for me. There were many of them. My road trip with Garrett was amazing. Being able to spend days on end, just me and my best friend, visiting place that I love was the best. It was also during this trip that I told Garrett about my SSA and he has been one of my strongest allies as I’ve “come out” and done this SSA Missionary Work on my blog. Another one of the “happiest” times of this year was receiving all of the positive feedback about my blog on October 20. Blogging about my SSA was something that made me feel extremely vulnerable and the positive feedback made me feel so much better and empowered to be able to share my story. Attending the AMCAP Conference and filming for Voice(s) of Hope were a couple of other amazing experiences this year. Being able to share my testimony and then meet a few of my heroes (Ty Mansfield, Josh Weed, etc.). In addition, the North Star Christmas fireside, where I felt such a strong sense of home and Zion, was another event this year that would rank on my happiest.

AMCAP Conference Panel

Best Book/Magazine You’ve Read

If you couldn’t guess it already, my favorite book this year was Voice(s) of Hope. It is what set the ball rolling for so much of what happened to me in the second half of the year. It is such an amazing compilation of testimonies and spiritual experiences. It has taught me so much about myself through the experiences of others. If you have a desire to learn about SSA from a gospel perspective, get this book. My dad has read it, Garrett is reading it, “Steve” bought a copy for himself… and each of them has said how much it has helped them understand SSA.

Voice(s) of Hope booth at the AMCAP Conference

Things You Will Remember From the News

With everything that’s happened in the world, a couple things I will remember from this year follow a similar theme to what I’ve already talked about. In many ways, this is the “Year of the ‘Gay’” for me, coming to accept my SSA more fully, joining the North Star/LDS SSA community, and “coming out” on my blog. As such, a couple things I remember from the news have to do with my heroes of the SSA community: Josh Weed and Ty Mansfield. After Josh did his blog post about being a gay man in a heterosexual marriage, it went viral to the point that he ended up on ABC’s Nightline special, in addition to making other media appearances. I’ve met Josh and his wife and honestly they had no idea how big of a splash this would make. Yet a splash it did make and despite persecution they’ve received since then, they stand as witnesses of the truth to the world. Another thing from the news I remember is Ty Mansfield on CNN after the church released its new website about SSA. Ty was not respected very well in that interview and as always my respect for him and his wife (both of whom have received persecution, while being in the spotlight) for what they do in standing up for the truth.

Josh and Lolly Weed on ABC's Nightline

What Would You Like to Do In 2013?

As far as secular things, I want to get into my major. I think I have finally figured out what I want to do for a major. I think I want to study Family Life and then go into marriage and family therapy. In the past few months, with everything I’ve learned from dealing with my SSA with such a steep learning curve, I’ve been able to see how SSA, abuse, infidelity, and a lack of communication can cause problems in a marriage and in a family. The world is falling apart when it comes to families. The adversary is attacking the family on all fronts because he knows that if he can break down the family, he can break down the rest of society. That’s why I want to help save the family. The world needs people with a testimony of the gospel and a testimony of the plan of salvation to help mend families. On a more personal level, I want to continue to help people with my blog. I love it when I hear that my blog has helped someone. One such person who continues to remain anonymous to me (which I TOTALLY understand) has never told anyone about his SSA but has been able to find help and support through my blog. I cherish moments like that or experiences like I had with “Steve”.

Me with Ty Mansfield after my Voice(s) of Hope shoot

Favorite Talk in Church/Conference

My favorite conference talk was probably Elder Holland this fall (I love Elder Holland’s talks!). I’ve had people talk to me about going overboard with the SSA thing and talking about it too much and I’ve had some people that felt uncomfortable talking about it period. Why do I do it then? Honestly, because I feel like I have felt the call from my Heavenly Father to use my talent in writing and in words to help His children. Of course it’s not an official calling, but I feel the need to do it, especially in my demographic. I understand that many young men my age with SSA will not be comfortable outing themselves over the internet, but no one ever said they should. I felt that I should though, because the young single adult demographic needed to be represented, because even here at BYU I’ve seen so many people with conflicting ideas on how to reconcile their SSA. Some would say that the only option is to go into a same-sex relationship, even if you have to wait until you’re graduated from BYU to do it. Some would say go ahead with a same-sex relationship right now. In many ways, it seems like they only give people with SSA one choice: Be true to yourself and give up on your faith.

However, I will not give up on my faith. Yes, it would be physically pleasing to be with a man. Yes, it might even be emotionally satisfying. No, it’s not worth sacrificing my faith and my testimony. Be true to myself? Fine. I will, because being true to myself means being true to my testimony, because my faith and my testimony are more of a defining characteristic to me than my sexuality. Because I love my Savior and because I love my Heavenly Father, I will stand as a witness for Them and for the truth! I know that I can have faith in my Father in Heaven because He knows what’s best for me. I know I can find hope and peace through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I know that it is through them that it gets better.

PS: What would your "2012: Year in Review" include?