North Star International

Ok. So I’ve been meaning to do this post for a while: one about North Star. I’ve mentioned North Star in some previous posts, but I’ve never really gotten into explaining it much. So, here it goes. North Star is an internet community for individuals with same-sex attraction (and those who support them) who want to keep their lives in harmony with the Church.

The name comes from a talk that President Hinckley gave in April 1989, called “Let Love Be the Lodestar of Your Life”. He said, “We came to know of the constancy of that star. As the earth turned, the others appeared to move through the night. But the North Star held its position in line with the axis of the earth… Love is like the Polar Star. In a changing world, it is a constant. It is of the very essence of the gospel.” And God loved us enough to send Christ to atone for our sins.

North Star’s mission is to help create a community for people with SSA and for their families, to create a support system. When I found North Star back in May 2012, I didn’t know what kind of impact it would have on my life. But in some of the rough times that have happened since then, North Star has been my support. On my worst days, I can post on the private Facebook group what my concerns and worries are, and within minutes I can have a response of support, advice, or something funny to cheer me up.

In addition to the Facebook group, North Star has email groups, divided into different demographics: youth, men, women, transgender, spouses, friends/family, local leaders, prospective missionaries, young adults, single men/women, married men/women, and (this one surprised me) individuals in same-sex relationships. North Star also has a blog kept by several members, called the Northern Lights blog, and they have started a podcast, which I previously wrote about.

Other than a couple of events per year (the Fall Chili Cook-Off and the Christmas Musical Fireside), North Star rarely does physical events and their entire community exists online (though I heard there is going to be a fireside this April, but more details on that later). As a result, some people I know who very much prefer physical human interaction, as opposed to electronically through North Star. However, that’s not always possible, which is why it’s nice for those who cannot physically meet with other faithful latter-day saints with SSA to be able to connect with them over the internet.

As I look back at this post, it seems kind of dry and almost like an advertisement… so let me share this to finish… I have had some rough times in the past year and the support I have felt from the North Star community is invaluable. I have felt like I’m in Zion when I’m around those men and women. I have learned from their words and I have come closer to the Savior. I have found dear friends and found deep support from people, some of whom I’ve never met. At the times when I have needed it most, they have been there to remind me that because of the Atonement, life will get better.

MormonsAndGays.org

About a month and a half ago, the Church released a new website entitled “Love One Another: A Discussion on Same-Sex Attraction”. I’d heard about this website a couple weeks before its release, but I was still blown away by it!

The very top of the website begins with words from Elder Oaks and Elder Christofferson, clarifying the Church’s position on homosexuality. I loved what Elder Oaks had to say! He mentions that the Church’s view of homosexual activity hasn’t changed and isn’t changing. From a public relations perspective, it would be easier to accept homosexuality, but that can’t happen, because it’s God’s law and not ours. I have heard many people express opinions like “It’s only a matter of time until the Church changes its policy about gay marriage.” Honestly, these comments break my heart. I can understand why someone would yearn for that to be the case… because the alternative could mean living alone as a single adult throughout the rest of their life.

The rest of the website goes over several topics (including “Our Common Humanity”, “Love One Another—The Great Christian Imperative”, “An Eternal Perspective”, “Being True to Religious Beliefs”, and “Hope”) and each section includes videos of people who experience same-sex attraction, spouses of those individuals, and parents and grandparents of them. The stories and feelings that they share are tender and powerful to me.

Of course I was happy to see my hero, Ty Mansfield, among those individuals. In a ten-minute clip, he shares his story and his journey to finding reconciliation between his sexuality and his faith. One thing that he addresses which rings true with me is the need to release himself from cultural expectations. I’ll be honest, sometimes (often) it gets annoying to hear people (especially leaders) harp on us about dating and marriage here at BYU (personally, I don’t think it does any good). To me it just tends to weight me down and remind me of how far I am from getting there. Yes I’ve been attracted to women before, but I still feel very far from that goal.

However, I like what Ty says… this is between me and God. Yes, that’s the expectations around me. But no, that’s not necessarily what God expects of me right now. He knows I want to get married and I believe that as I follow the Spirit, I’ll get there on the Lord’s timetable. I love the way that Ty phrased the impression he’d had: “Just stay with me.” Live each day and focus on staying close to the Lord and what He wants you to do and you’ll get to where He wants you to be.

I am grateful that the Lord and the Brethren care enough about us, the “gay” Mormons, the minority, that they had this website created to teach us and to teach all members of the Church how to love better and how to show that charity to our brothers and sisters who have such unique trials that not everyone understands. I am grateful for the knowledge of the Atonement and that above all else, even if we have to take it one day at a time, it gets better, because of the Gospel.

PS: For any who are wondering about Alex and how it went with his parents, it couldn’t have gone better! He wrote a post about it on his blog.