Your Happy Ending

Sometimes I look back at the past few years (pretty much all the way back to when I came home from Toronto, I suppose) and just marvel at all of what has happened. All of the good. All of the bad. A lot of it has been messy, but a lot of it has been miraculous as well. When I graduated from high school, I would have never guessed that I would have told ANYONE about my SSA (never mind putting it on Facebook). I would have never guessed I would go through the trials I’ve gone through.

**SPOILER ALERT FOR ONCE UPON A TIME FANS**

"Your happy ending may not be what you expect..."

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a fan of ABC’s show “Once Upon a Time.” Their mid-season finale “Going Home” was great, in my opinion (you can argue that if you want, but I’m not up for arguing opinion). For those who are unfamiliar with the show, each episode is split into two storylines: present-day action and flashbacks. Usually the flashbacks tell one story from start to finish. The mid-season finale was different; each flashback was completely separate from the others. However, they had a common theme: finding a “happy ending.”

Each character had something different for their flashback. Snow White and Prince Charming’s flashback talks about finding the hope of a happy ending, even if it wasn’t the one that they expected. Captain Hook’s flashback has to do with his alternative to a happy ending: revenge. In Rumpelstiltskin’s flashback he says that his ending will not be a happy one. All of these have their own point to make, but I want to focus on the last flashback: Henry’s. In Henry’s flashback he is given his storybook by his teacher, Miss Blanchard/Snow White. Henry is becoming aware of the oddities in their town and is becoming depressed. Miss Blanchard gives him the storybook to give him hope of a happy ending. One quote of hers in particular I want to mention: “Your happy ending may not be what you expect, but that is what will make it so special.”

This quote rings true with me. I am far from my happy ending, but what I had once thought would be my “happy ending” (serving a two-year mission, getting  married, and becoming a dad) is not what I got or what I may get. I didn’t get to serve for two years. I’m not married (I’ve only ever briefly had one girlfriend) and I don’t know when that will happen (I do believe it will happen… but maybe not as quick as I want). My happy ending is a perfect family life, but that’s not going to happen. It’s part of mortality to struggle, to whatever extent, throughout life. I believe that it’s through struggle that we grow and become more like Christ.

My happy ending has not been what I expected, but the “happy ending” I’ve had so far has been special… Had I not come home from Toronto, I wouldn’t have met Eric, Justin, or many others. My experiences have helped me grow, bond with others, and become a strong man with a stronger faith. If it was not for my loneliness growing up, I would not appreciate my friends that I have now that have become my brothers and sisters.

3 years after I went into the MTC my little brother went in

I am grateful for my “happy ending.” However, I’m not done yet. I still have many great things to come. I still have a true love to find and a family to have. I have an undergraduate degree to finish. I have weaknesses and insecurities to work on. My happy ending isn’t here yet, but that’s the fun part. I still have great and hard things to do. And I can do hard things.

What I'd Tell Her

It’s really been six months? It’s hard to believe that six months ago I put myself out there, wrote that initial blog post about my sexuality, and shared it on Facebook. I wanted to do something special for my six-month post and it finally came to me as I was on the way back from a North Star guys’ night last weekend.

While driving back with David and another North Star friend, I was reminded of an experience I had while I was still in Toronto… in the very late night of August 20 or the very early morning of August 21, 2010, I told Elder Call about my SSA. In the evening of August 21 I think it was, this experience happened: some members from the Heart Lake ward asked us to take some clothes to the thrift store for them, so we did. As we were dropping them off, Elder Call started talking to the girl that we gave them too. As he started talk to this girl about God, she responded by telling us that she hated God, because He’d made her gay.

With my coming out experience so fresh in my mind, having happened less than 24 hours before, I was emotionally vulnerable and I really felt for this girl who felt betrayed and abandoned by God. I wanted to be able to tell her that I knew how she felt. I wanted to be able to assure her of God’s love for her… but being so early on my own journey, I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t have the emotional stamina to be completely authentic with her either.

Looking back on the experience recently, I took myself back in my mind… If I could go back to that day at that thrift store with the assurance I have now and with the things I have learned and experienced in the past (almost) three years, what would I tell her? This list is only a beginning of the things I’ve learned and experienced… but this is what I’d like to tell her (and I’m going to write it as though I’m talking to her).

• “God loves you! You don’t have to stop being attracted to other women to earn His love. He loves you now as you are. He longs for you to follow Him, but no matter what you feel or what you do, He will always love you.”
• “Being attracted to women does NOT mean that God hates you or that He has abandoned you. He gave you this experience because He loves you.”
• “You might feel abandoned at times… and at times I feel like I’m abandoned for days or weeks on end… but He will never abandon you.”
• “Sometimes it’s easy to feel anger toward God because of the trials that we have, and at times SSA is a beast of a trial, but like any trial, it can bring you closer to God.”
• “The Atonement of Jesus Christ can help you! Though it may not take the SSA away at once or ever in this life, you can find comfort and peace through it.”
• “You can be happy. No matter what trials you have in life, you can be happy. Whether you like being gay or not, you can be happy. Happiness is a choice. It may be a hard choice to make, but it’s a choice.”
• “If you let it, your attractions to other women can refine you and turn you into someone even stronger, more loving, and more capable in life.”

There is probably so much more I could say. I have learned a lot since that day (August 21, 2010) about what my SSA means and what it doesn’t mean. I’ve learned a lot about what it means to love myself and to love others. I’ve learned a lot, but I’m also still learning. I’m not expert, but I’m not sure such a thing exists. Instead, I’m a disciple, wanting to testify to the world about the love that I know I have felt from God, even if it’s hard for me to let in sometimes.

Sometimes it’s very abstract thing to say, but I honestly do believe the phrase that I like to end my posts with and that is the final thing I want to add to my list: “Through the infinite Atonement of Jesus Christ, it gets better… even more so, you can be better.”

The R in RM

What does the “R” in “RM” stand for? I’ve heard many variations on what RM does mean or should mean. One professor I had said that instead of “returned missionary” it should mean “released missionary,” explaining that after a missionary goes home they should not return to their old ways. A mission, when done right, should be a great growing experience for a young man. However, there are many missionaries who go home and find themselves among their same friends and end up sinking back into old habits and immaturities. In this way, my professor meant that an RM should retain the lessons and growth he/she learned in the mission field in his/her life. While, I agree with that, I also heard another great explanation of what RM should mean.

Last month (July) I had the opportunity and the great blessing to go visit Toronto and to go to church in both wards in which I had served in Brampton, Ontario: Creditview and Heart Lake. I got to share this great experience and amazing road trip with my best friend, Garrett, after finally reuniting with him after two years. While we were at the Heart Lake ward, we had the opportunity to talk to a man named Felix. I’d never met Felix while I served in Heart Lake (he had been less-active at the time) but I had heard about him from Casey, my future roommate who had been in my MTC district and had served in Heart Lake about a year after I left.

Garrett and I spoke to Felix for a while. He is a man of such great faith and insight. He mentioned to me and Garrett his thoughts on being a returned missionary (though I can’t remember if he served a mission or not). Though having only been back in the church for a relatively short time, Felix had taken to being a member missionary and that’s where his idea of what it means to be an RM comes from. He mentioned to me and Garrett that being a returned missionary is far different from being a retired missionary. Though having “returned” from serving full-time, an RM (returned missionary) by definition is still a missionary.

I really like Felix’s definition of an RM. Just because I have returned from my mission (twice now), I am still a missionary, a returned missionary. As cliché as it sounds, it is so true that missionary work does not end when the name tag comes off. In fact, when I was getting ready to come home from Calgary, my friend Eric wrote to me and said that now, having returned home, is when the real missionary work begins, which is what my mission trained me for.

As if the point Felix made wasn’t clear enough, I started noticing by the end of my vacation how many missionaries I seemed to run into. The first night I was in Grand Rapids with Garrett’s family, we had dinner with the companionship of elders in their ward. While in Brampton, we saw four different companionships of elders (the Credtview elders, the Heart Lake elders, the Spanish elders, and the Brampton ward elders). After visiting Brampton, we went to visit Palmyra (we got to see my family and some old friends and Garrett LOVED the church history sites), so of course we saw a good number of sister missionaries at the visitors centers and historical sites. However, while in Palmyra, we also managed to run into a companionship of elders while we were at the dollar store getting batteries. After getting back from our road trip, during my last full day in Grand Rapids, we had a visit from the sister missionaries in their ward. As if I hadn’t had enough run-ins with missionaries during my trip, I guess I still wasn’t quite getting the message that Heavenly Father was trying to get me to learn.

It wasn’t until I was at the Dallas/Fort Worth airport that the lesson finally hit home. While waiting for my connecting flight in Dallas, I ran into a group of missionaries returning to Utah from Italy. I took the opportunity to chat with several of them (there were at least six of them, elders and sisters, in total). I called Garrett from the airport and told him about running into the missionaries at the airport and he pointed out to me the lesson, that maybe it was a hint from Heavenly Father that I wasn’t done with missionary work.

Arriving in Salt Lake City, waiting for my ride, I got to witness those missionaries, returning from Italy, reunite with their families. After nearly two years away from Toronto, it was therapeutic to go back and visit and see that it wasn’t a waste of my time, even though it was only three months. I even felt like a missionary again while I was there and so did Garrett (I even had to remind Garrett at one point that I wasn’t his companion, when I had to run back to the Sunday School room in Heart Lake to retrieve my scriptures and I found Garrett following me). After such an amazing vacation, I cannot imagine a better ending to it than seeing those missionaries reunite with their families again. To those elders and sisters (if somehow they happen to chance upon this) remember that you’re not done:

You’re a returned missionary, not a retired missionary.

(I guess you could basically say Garrett was my last companion in Toronto :D)

Called to Serve... Again

Setting: June 29, 2011—Apartment 101


The plan was to watch all three Narnia movies in a row (I’ve wanted to do that for a while). For “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe”, I was joined by Joey, Justin, and John (3 of my roommates). After the first movie, Joey and Justin had to go and it was left to just me and John. About half-way through “Prince Caspian”, I was watching by myself (I can’t remember where John had disappeared to) and my phone starts ringing. I look at it and realize that President Mullen (my BYU stake president) is calling me. Immediately, I shut off the TV and answer the phone.


He tells me that the mission department is sending me back to the mission field. They’re sending me to the Canada Calgary Mission for two or three transfers to make sure that I’ll be okay, but as long as that goes well, I’m going back to Toronto.


After I got off the phone with President Mullen, I called home to tell my parents, but as luck would have it, Tyler told me that Dad was taking Mom dinner at work. So for the next twenty minutes, I waited for Dad to get home, as Joey and John watched me go crazy, because I couldn’t tell them yet. Finally, I got ahold of Dad and I was finally able to tell people.


I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for the opportunity He has given me to share the gospel again. What I know about the Atonement and the Plan of Salvation means so much to me and I’m excited to share it with others.


--Spencer… Elder Ficiur JJJ

The Best... 3.5 Months

This is a video slideshow of my experiences on my mission, at the MTC and as I served in the Canada Toronto West Mission. Though I came home early and though the anxiety was overwhelming at times, it was the best 3.5 months of my life.

A Step Into the Dark

So we didn’t expect me to personally post on here again so soon, huh? Here’s the deal now…

I’ve come home from my mission early. Because of the normal stresses of a mission and my having Aspergers, as well as other random stresses of life I was having, my stress was compounded and by the twelfth week I was in the field (15 weeks total), I was becoming less and less effective, to the point where I was having mental breakdowns almost every day. As a result, President Brower (my mission president), who had known about the building stresses for some time, with the advice of Brother Miller, a psychiatrist at LDS Family Services in Etobicoke, Ontario suggested that I take a break from my mission. Last Tuesday (September 14) President Brower told me that I was officially being extended an honorable medical release from my mission, with the possibility of returning when this is all sorted out.

Now some may wonder why I’m going into so much detail on this. I know that my parents have told me that I don’t need to explain all the situation in detail to anyone, but I am not ashamed of being sent home early for medical reasons, even if they are psychological medical reasons. I know for a fact that my Heavenly Father is pleased with the work I performed in Brampton, Ontario these last three months. He has blessed me so much for all that I’ve done and I wouldn’t trade those three months for anything.

I’m not sure if I’m going to go back to my mission, to complete the other 21 months. I honestly don’t know. All I know is that right now, I’m where Heavenly Father needs me. I would love to go back and finish, but now it’s more important to me to follow my Father’s plan for me. For all I know, those three and a half months were all He needed me in the field for.

But even if I don’t go back, I feel as though I’ve had a full mission experience (not that I would say no to more of that experience, of course): I was able to participate in a saving ordinance for someone we’d taught (Louie). I had an amazing companion who was more amazing and charitable and loving than I could have ever expected (Elder Call). I experienced being transferred to a new area (out of Creditview and into Heart Lake) and white-washing that area (for those of you who don’t know, white-washing is when both missionaries are new in the area after a transfer). I experienced how it felt when an investigator who is so close to baptism has to delay that amazing blessing because they don’t believe they can pay tithing (Tek). For three days, while my companion was at leadership training, I even got to experience being senior companion. I experienced the efforts that go into reactivating people and families. I even got to teach a Sunday School class one week when the Ward Mission Leader was away! Not only did I have all these experiences that most missionaries have, but because of the things that happened to me, I think I may have had more interaction with my mission president in three months than some missionaries have in two years.

I have no regrets coming home. I know for a fact that my efforts have been accepted by the Lord. Seven months ago, I didn’t know if I’d ever get to serve a mission at all. Perhaps those three months I got were just Heavenly Father’s way of granting my wish, before having me move on to bigger and better things. I don’t know. Those three months mean everything to me. If it’s part of His plan, I know that there will be a time when Heavenly Father will send me out again. Until then, my mission president said to live like I’m done my mission, but work toward being able to come back.

One thing I really want to get across in this post is the same as something I said to my mom as I called her from President Brower’s office, just before leaving for the airport: This is right. There is a powerful testimony in those three words, as President Brower noted to me afterward. How amazing is that that I know that this is right? Many people have wondered, since I got home, if I’m okay. I assume it’s because many missionaries who come home early for medical reasons get depressed. That’s not me. By the time I got to the mission home on Wednesday to go to the airport with President Brower, I was at peace with this.

I know that I’m on the path of where my Father needs me to be. I have no clue what that is, but I know that He knows and He will lead me by the hand as I take each step forward into the dark. His plan is perfect and it’s by following His plan that we can and will obtain the greatest happiness.

I say these things in the sacred name of my older Brother and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

--Spencer

In the Hollow of Thy Hand

This is going to be my last blog post before I leave on my mission. Earlier today, I was set apart as a missionary. Tomorrow, we leave for Utah. While I’m gone, this is what I want to get out of my mission and what I want to have while I’m gone. It’s basically all said in the song “In the Hollow of Thy Hand”.

Dear Lord who blesses us with love
Please send this day thy Spirit from above
As this thy son, accepts a call from Thee
Help him we pray to learn humility

Direct his footsteps everyday
And keep him ever walking in Thy ways
Inspire him as he spreads the gospel plan
Lord, hold him in the hollow of Thy hand

In the hollow of Thy hand as he grows from boy to man
Help his understanding deepen and increase
In the hollow of Thy hand as he grows from boy to man
Let him know the special blessing of thy peace

Dear Lord, who hears and answers prayers
Please keep Thy servant always in Thy care
As he prepares to teach his fellow men
Oh keep him safe and bring him home again

Protect him from all worldly ways
And always send Thy spirit when he prays
Give him the courage of a righteous man
Just hold him in the hollow of thy hand

In the hollow of Thy hand as he grows from boy to man
Help his understanding deepen and increase
In the hollow of Thy hand as he grows from boy to man
Let him know the special blessing of thy peace

As he faces life’s demands
May he take a valiant stand
Give him shelter in the hollow of Thy hand

I'll Find You My Friend

After getting back from Provo in April, I started going through my boxes of stuff that were in storage here. I’ve been repacking them and getting rid of a bunch of my stuff. In going through the boxes, I found a note that my Tribe Leader gave me when I went to Moroni’s Quest in 2005. It really touched me as I prepare for my mission. This is what it said that touched me:

There was this place called the pre-existence, where we lived with our friends so dear. A council was called and plans were made; free agency is why we’re here. Our Savior said, “Please find my lost sheep, and teach them and bring them home.” I promised my Savior I’d find them, and teach them the way to go.

My time has come to teach the gospel. There are souls out there who are gold. The gospel of Jesus Christ rolls forth and this is what they need to be told. And if your joy be great with one soul, you have taught and have brought unto me. How great will your heart be exalted, to bring many unto me.

I’ll go and find you my friend, I’ll help you. Our Savior’s plan is the way. Please accept me when I find you, and we’ll be back with Him some day. Remember the worth of souls is great in the light and the sight of God. Look and search and teach His sheep to find the Iron Rod.

I’ll find you there my friend.

I promised to find my friends and I have every intention to keep that promise. This is what I am keeping my mind on as I leave this coming week on my mission. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Canada Toronto West Mission

Below is a map of the Canada Toronto West Mission, where I’ll be serving for the next two years. Geographically it’s a big mission (especially in comparison to Utah missions, like where my brother Brett served (Salt Lake South Mission) where his areas were measured in streets, if I remember correctly).

Ever since getting my call, I feel like I keep running into people who served in my mission. Immediately after I opened and read my call, I remembered that someone from my ward, who was good friends with my brother Jared, served there. Not long after that, I remembered that my EFY counselor from 2007 served in my mission the same time that Jared’s friend did (they even knew each other while they were there, though they weren’t companions). Then I found out that Jared has another friend who just got back from my mission. And that’s just the ones I can remember off the top of my head.

From my 2007 EFY counselor who served in my mission (who was very excited to hear that I was going to his mission), I learned that the Toronto West Mission has many different cultures and people. He told me that you can’t find a more exotic, culturally diverse mission. Shortly before leaving BYU in April, I was able to have lunch with him (he’s currently working on his Master’s Degree right now) and he told me a lot about the mission. One thing in particular that he told me that was that, from what he’d seen, the people were receptive to the message of the gospel. My guess would be that they probably aren’t as receptive as many missions are in South America.

I’m so excited to be able to serve the Lord in Ontario. Especially after worrying for so long this year that I wouldn’t be able to go, I know how precious a privilege it is for me to be able to serve. I know that as I prepare to serve, He will bless me. I know this church is true. I know that I have been called of God to preach the gospel. I know that it was by inspiration that I have been called to Ontario to preach the gospel and to invite others to come unto Christ. I know that true happiness only comes through living the commandments of God. I’m so excited to help other people to come to know this too. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and it was translated by Joseph Smith by the power of God.

I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Getting Left Behind

A couple weeks ago, I went to the Provo temple with Garrett, Juliana (one of my best friends, here at BYU), and Braden (one of my best friends from the Hill Cumorah Pageant). At the Provo temple, they have you do confirmations for one set of names, first, before going to do baptisms for another set of names. We sat together as a group while waiting to do confirmations. By the time that I’d finished doing confirmations, Juliana and Braden were also done. However, before Garrett was done, some people with family names sat down by me. Because they had family names, they were going to do baptisms before confirmations, so that they could do all of their names.

Because they were there, when Garrett was done doing confirmations, he was separated from me, Braden, and Juliana. I felt bad about it, thinking that Garrett was, in a way, “left behind”. When the line for baptisms started moving, I let the people with family names go ahead of me, so that I’d be sitting by Garrett again. I doubt it was a big deal for Garrett that I went back to sit by him, but to me it meant that he wasn’t being left behind. Though it hadn’t bothered him to be separated from the rest of us, I felt better, knowing that none of my friends had been left behind or left out of the group.

This got me thinking about the situation in a spiritual sense. Around the time that I got my mission call, someone (I can’t remember who it was) told me that before I came to Earth, I made promises to the people that I’ll teach. I promised them that I’d find them and teach them the Gospel. Though I can’t remember making those promises, I know I made them and I’m going to do everything in my power to keep those promises. Like the situation with Garrett at the temple, I refuse to leave those people behind. I promised I’d find them.

I know this church is true. I know that I’ve been called of God to help other people come to know what I already know. Today, I have two months and five days left until I go into the MTC. However, my training as a missionary doesn’t start there. It didn’t start when I got my call. It didn’t start at the beginning of the semester when me and Garrett thought up those ways to prepare. It started when I was young and it’s a constant movement closer and closer to the Savior. It’s a constant movement to where and to who He wants me to be. I testify with all my heart that the church is true and the Book of Mormon is the word of God, alongside the Bible. Again, I promise that as a missionary I will commit myself to finding those people that I promised to find and I will not leave them behind.

--Spencer

Dear Elder Ficiur...

“You are hereby called to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Canada Toronto West Mission.”

After a month and a half of waiting, I finally received my mission call on Wednesday. Going back to my apartment in mid-afternoon, after finishing most of my classes, I found out my call was there. After that, I went back to campus for my dance class. I told one of my friends in that class that my call was at my apartment and she said “How are you even here right now?” (I was there only because we had a Cha Cha test).

After that class was over, I went back to my apartment and after several of my friends had arrived, we started calling my family. Four speaker phones and one long 10-minute video recording later, my call was open and I knew I was going to the Toronto West mission.

I’m so very excited to serve the people of Ontario in my mission. On June 2, I go into the Missionary Training Center and I’m so excited to go in. Several times, walking to and from the Provo temple, I’ve walked past the Missionary Training Center. I’ve seen missionaries from the Missionary Training Center heading to and from the temple. In two months and twelve days, I’ll be one of them. I’ll be a missionary.

I know that this church is true and I’m so very excited to help the people of Ontario come to know that as well. It’s true and no one can tell me it isn’t. Though the strength of that conviction may vary, slightly, I know that I’ve felt the Holy Ghost tell me that it’s true. Even if I can’t feel it at any given moment, I can remember that I have felt that witness. I testify that it’s true. I testify that the Book of Mormon is the word of God, alongside the Bible, as long as it is translated correctly. This is God’s church and I know that it is by Him that I am called to teach.

--Spencer

The video below is the last 4 minutes of the 10 minute video that was taken of me opening my call.

Called to Serve

¯ Called to serve Him, heavenly King of glory, chosen ever to witness for His name, far and wide we tell the Father’s story, far and wide his love proclaim. Onward, ever onward, as we glory in His name; Onward, ever onward, as we glory in His name; Forward, pressing forward, as a triumph song we sing. God our strength will be; press forward, ever called to serve our King. ¯

So I have some bad news and some good news. Bad news is that despite what I thought about my call, it was delayed. Good news is that that’s over now! I’ve been cleared to serve a mission! Not only that, but today Bishop Andrus (my bishop, here at BYU) checked and found out that my call was issued last Friday! That means that it’s coming here on Thursday!

I’m really excited now, but what makes me more excited is that I’m definitely serving a mission! Even before I knew that my call had been issued, I knew (from my bishop) that I was cleared to serve a mission (he sent me an email on Tuesday night). As I think I noted before in an earlier post, a huge thing that had been bothering me about the delays was that I didn’t know if I’d even be serving a mission and that drove me crazy. However, now I know that I’m going to serve and I’m feeling a bigger push now to prepare to serve because I know that I AM going to serve.

The title of this post, “Called to Serve”, is appropriate because, while I don’t know where or when I’m going to serve, I know that I’m going to serve and I’m going to do everything I can to prepare to be the best missionary I can be.

I know this church is true and I know that the call I’ve been issued (wherever and whenever it is) is from God and while I am not perfect, He is perfect and He will help me along the way as long as I stay faithful and humble. I can’t wait until I can serve in the mission field and I can’t wait to tell people about the gospel. It brings so much happiness and peace in my life and I know it can do the same thing for them, whoever and wherever they are.

Until next time (when I’ll have my call and you’ll hear about it), don’t forget to smile!

--Spencer

I Hope They Call Me on a Mission

Ever since returning to BYU this semester, I’ve felt a stronger desire to prepare better to serve my mission. I mentioned this in my last post, briefly, when I talked about leaving Facebook. My resolve to prepare to serve better has come as a result of many things, but mostly because of Garrett, my roommate and one of my best friends (you’ll be hearing a lot about him in my blog, I’m sure).

There was one day in particular, a day or two after Garrett disabled his Facebook account, and we got talking about why he disabled it and about other stuff. It was weird because we were off the subject of Facebook when I got the distinct impression that I had to leave Facebook too. About an hour after our conversation was over, so was my Facebook account.

It’s been really cool living with one of my best friends. We’ve figured out other random ways to prepare to serve our missions (most them being Garrett’s ideas). One thing we’ve been doing is improving our scripture study. Each morning, after having breakfast, we’ll have “companionship” scripture study. I’ve really enjoyed sharing and receiving insights about the scriptures with Garrett.

One of the coolest things we’ve done has been our weekly temple trips. Originally, I’d planned to go to the temple each Tuesday afternoon, since I don’t have classes during that time. Garrett and I discovered that neither of us had classes on Friday after eleven o’clock. So, as a result, as a general rule, me and Garrett decided to go to the temple each Friday after we were done classes. Pretty much every week since, we’ve gone to the temple after our Friday classes and almost every time we’ve missed our Friday temple trip, we make time for a Saturday temple trip. It’s just been AMAZING!!!

By now, my close friends and family know that I’ve had my papers in since January 31 (which, coincidentally, is my birthday). By normal standards, I should have had my call on February 11. Because I have Aspergers Syndrome (a form of high-functioning autism) my papers were delayed a few weeks. In that time, I’ve met with someone from LDS Family Services to have an evaluation done on my potential to effectively serve a mission, despite having Aspergers. The extra wait time was brutal.

I was super anxious for my call before I found out it’d been delayed, but then it got delayed and my feelings went beyond anxious. It bugged me that I had to wait to get my papers looked at by the mission department. It’s been years since having Aspergers has really affected me. When I told my friends at BYU that I have Aspergers, their response consistently was “I couldn’t tell.” One of my friends, whose brother has Aspergers, was really thrown off because he knew what Aspergers was like and he didn't see that in me. So, really, it bugged me that my papers were being delayed because of a problem that doesn’t affect me. Eventually, I just had to accept the wait time and be patient.

It’s still difficult, but now the endless wait is a countdown again. The counselor from LDS Family Services is done his evaluation and it’s been sent to Salt Lake City. Now I just have to wait for the mission department and the First Presidency to look it over. If all goes well, I’ll have my call in less than two weeks.

I’m really excited to almost have my call (to put it lightly). Garrett can attest to that. He was with me, last Friday, when I got the message from the guy at LDS Family Services, saying that his report about me had been mailed to Salt Lake. I was literally bouncing with excitement. It’s just too bad that I hadn’t gotten the message after we’d gone to the temple. Because I got it before we went, I was giddy about my call, all throughout being at the temple. I was able to contain myself and stay reverent, but (as I told Garrett after doing baptisms) I felt like I was a big bottle of excitement that was about to explode.

It’s because of my excitement to serve a mission and even just to receive my call that I decided to title this post after one of the songs I know that’s most applicable to me right now: “I Hope They Call Me on a Mission”.