Sunday, February 10, 2013

"If I Have Not Charity" -- An Apology

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.” (Moroni 7:46-47)

“And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:3)

I recently got a message from someone I care about a lot (let’s call him Chris) and he was hurt because of what I’d written on my blog. I’ve known Chris was gay for about five years now and I thought I’d done my best to love him… but I guess not. I don’t know what exactly offended him, but that doesn’t matter. The fallout of what happened after I got the message (which resulted in me getting in an argument with Thomas, because he is closer to Chris than I am).

My target audience was never meant to be people living a gay lifestyle. My purpose in writing about SSA on my blog was (1) to give hope and to strengthen those that have decided to stay with the gospel, (2) to help those that are confused know that the gay lifestyle isn’t the only option, and (3) to help other members of the church understand the challenges and issues around same-sex attraction from someone who experiences it. In the end, I only wanted to share the answers I have found that have worked for me, writing many of those answers as I learn them.

I never meant for anything I have written to come across as though I believe that all gays are evil, perverted pedophiles. I never meant for it to come across as though I believe they’re all going to hell. I never meant for it to come across as though I hate gays. I have no quarrel with those that choose the gay lifestyle. My heart breaks for them because, based on my understanding of the plan of salvation, I believe that the happiness they have now will not be able to continue forever. However, I do not hate them or wish ill on them.

As much as I’ve been trying to love and share my testimony of the Atonement, I have fallen short and it has caused me much grief over the past couple days since the incident with Chris and Thomas happened. I’m sorry for offending you. I’m sorry if I offended anyone. That was never what I meant to do. I never claimed to be an expert on any of this… I’m just sharing what I learn, as I learn it.

To Chris, Thomas, and anyone else I’ve offended, I’m sorry. It was never my intention. To any of my readers, if I ever offend you in the future or if you disagree with what I say, please send me an email ( and please tell me what I’d said. With feedback I can clarify my opinion and edit the post accordingly. If not, I hope that we can at least respectfully disagree with each other. I need to be better at showing love to everyone… not just those that agree with me. As much as I testify of the Atonement and its power to make help things better, if I don’t show love, it’s not worth anything. Like what Paul, who I quoted early, if I share my testimony and put myself in a vulnerable situation to share that testimony, no matter how strong I think it is, “and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing”.

Jesus Christ -- The example of Perfect Love

1 comment:

  1. Good for you Spencer. Kinda hard to make our point clearly when our emotions overwhelm & control us.


I have one rule: Be nice! That's all :)