For My Baby Brother

"We may rest assured that all things are controlled and governed by Him whose spirit children we are. He knows the end from the beginning, and he provides for each of us the testings and trials which he knows we need. President Joseph Fielding Smith once told me that we must assume that the Lord knows and arranges beforehand who shall be taken in infancy and who shall remain on earth to undergo whatever tests are needed in their cases. This accords with Joseph Smith’s statement: ‘The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth.’ (Teachings, pp. 196–97.) It is implicit in the whole scheme of things that those of us who have arrived at the years of accountability need the tests and trials to which we are subject and that our problem is to overcome the world and attain that spotless and pure state which little children already possess.” (“Salvation of Little Children,” p. 6.) (taken from the D&C Institute student manual)

Twenty-two years ago today, my family lost someone very precious. My mom gave birth to a stillborn baby boy, who they named Jay. It was a very difficult thing for my parents to face. By the time he was born, they’d known for about a month that he was dead. Even though I was only about 21-months-old at the time and don’t remember the event, I think about him from time to time. On his birthday, I try to do my best to honor and celebrate the baby brother that I never got to meet. Though we never met on this earth, at times I think the Spirit whispers to me that he is near and watching over me. At times I wonder if he is my guardian angel. I believe we were friends in the pre-mortal world and that because of that I feel this connection to him, though I’ve never even seen his face in mortality.

Mom and Dad at the DC temple again after 25 years

I am grateful for the knowledge of the plan of salvation and specifically for the knowledge of eternal families. Because my parents were sealed in the Washington DC temple on July 17, 1974, my brothers and I were all born into the covenant. Because of this, we haven’t lost Jay. He is sealed to my parents and he is sealed to us. I will see him again. I cannot wait for the day when I get to see my baby brother again.

Happy birthday, Jay. I miss you.