Sunday night this week was great!
After having a great day with some friends after a friend’s Melchezidek priesthood
ordination (PS: Congratulations again, Phil), I went to the annual North Star
Christmas musical fireside. Such an amazing, powerful, spiritual experience!
I arrived with my friends just in
time for it to start. Immediately, I felt a sense of peace as I saw the faces
of familiar people, many of whom I’ve met in person, but also many that I had
only met online. As the fireside started, I pegged a word to the feeling I had.
I texted my Dad that I was at the fireside and then said, “I feel at home here.”
His reply struck me: “Saints united in a righteous cause… the Spirit there…
Sounds like Zion.”
I knew he was right. I could
recall the scripture I’d memorized years ago in seminary: “And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and
one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them.” (Moses 7:18)
“One heart and one mind”… isn’t that exactly what I was feeling in that room?
Isn’t that what I’d felt just a few weeks before at the AMCAP conference? Isn’t
that what I’d felt for months at my Evergreen group? I remembered once telling
Garrett about my feelings at an Evergreen meeting. “You wouldn’t expect the
Spirit to be so strong in a room full of men that the world would call ‘gay’,”
I’d said. And yet, that’s what I felt. Why? Because we’re striving to live the
gospel.
As difficult as it can be sometimes to be
attracted to men, I have felt some of the strongest testimonies among
my SSA friends. They’d have to be the strongest… otherwise we’d fall into what
Lehi called “forbidden paths” (1 Nephi 8:28)
Add this to another reason why I’m grateful
to be “gay”: my testimony is not what it probably would have been, had it
not been for my SSA. What if we could have that unity of purpose and testimony
in our elders’ quorums and relief societies? Imagine how the church and the world
would change. Honestly, I think the church wouldn’t have to put out websites
like this one (“Love One Another: A
Discussion on Same-Sex Attraction”) to teach us to love each other
unconditionally (PS: I plan on doing a blog post in the future on this new
church website… I want to explore it more first). It would be inherent and
intuitive.
As if the feeling of home/Zion
wasn’t powerful enough for me, I was blown away by the musical numbers and the
three speakers. In particular, I felt the Spirit wash over me when my friend
(let’s call him Keith) sang “Silent Night”. Keith has an AMAZING voice and
especially having gotten to know him over the past few weeks and learn from his
story, I know very much of his testimony as well and I know that he has a
powerful testimony of the Atonement and of Jesus Christ, of whom he sang.
I was also very moved by the
words of Steven Frei, the president of North Star, who spoke at the close of
the fireside. One part of his remarks really struck me: “Two thousand years
ago, Mary and Joseph knocked. Now, Christ knocks at our door. He is our true
Voice of hope.” Of course, with the North Star community, the phrase “voice of hope”
has a lot of meaning to us. However, Ty Mansfield also mentioned in his book
(and on the introduction video to the upcoming website) that the greatest Voice
of hope (and the one that all of our testimonies, as part of the Voices of Hope
project, point to) is Jesus Christ. He was born so that He could fulfill His
mission as the Savior of the world. He came to give us all hope. He came to be
the purest Voice of hope that any of us (no matter what we experience in our
lives) can look to.
I bear testimony of the Lord
Jesus Christ. He is the one we worship and reverence in this Christmas season. It
is because of His birth and death that we are able to find peace and meaning in
this life. And, as always, it is through that infinite Atonement that it gets
better.
Beautiful post. I likewise felt the spirit there. I love it when we come together in worship and song. The Christmas fireside is always extra special. Thanks for this thoughtful post.
ReplyDeleteSteve