From Zero to Four

Let me tell you about “Alex”. He found my blog because we have a mutual friend who served in his mission. This mutual friend shared my original SSA blog post on Facebook and, from what Alex told me, it was then that he knew he couldn’t keep hiding from this for the rest of his life. And ever since my post about living authentically, Alex has been a consistent commenter on my blog (his name just shows up as “Unknown User”).

In order to reach out as an “SSA Missionary”, I gave him my email address in case he needed anything. Since then, we’ve had some great communications over email, comments, and Facebook (though that was anonymous too). During our conversations, I learned that Alex had never told anyone about his SSA. Not his parents. Not his mission president. Not his best friend. Not his bishop. No one. In a way, I felt sad, because I know how much support I’ve gained since I told Elder Call about my SSA and subsequently told my parents. The fact that he had no one made me kind of sad. However, I was grateful that I was able to be that support for him, even if I didn’t even know his real name (he let me refer to him as James).

However, something miraculous happened a couple weeks ago. While driving down to Provo for school with a friend, he felt the prompting and the confirmation that he could tell the friend he was with about his SSA. He did and was amazed at how strong of support he felt. The next day, he sent me a message saying “Spencer, I told someone!” and later that day I arranged to meet up with him in person finally. Since then, Alex told a close friend of his from his home ward and he told the mutual friend who he found my blog through.

That support system may only have four people in it right now, physically, but “Alex”, remember that you have the support of all of us here. You have the support of the leaders of the church. And you have the support of your Heavenly Father. He too knows about your SSA and He is proud of how you’re handling it. He knows that this learning curve you’ve been through (and that you’re still experiencing) can be draining at times, but it’s ok to feel drained at times, because He will help you.

Now to the rest of you reading this: Alex is taking a big step in this next week. His parents are going to be visiting him and he’s planning on telling them about his SSA. He is scared out of his mind, but he feels it’s what he should do. Please pray for him and feel free to leave your support for him here on the comments!

I’m grateful for the opportunity I’ve had to help Alex and to talk with him about SSA. In some ways, he’s still in shock after telling four people (but then again, in some ways I’m still in shock that I’m blogging about it using my real name). Not every day is perfect, but I try to remember and remind myself just as much as I tell Alex that if I rely on the Atonement, it gets better.

PS: Here is a link to Alex’s blog, where he anonymously talks about his SSA.

PPS: Here’s his post about telling someone for the first time.