Question: Doesn’t being “gay” mean you’re acting on your same-sex
attraction? Isn’t that the implication of the word?
Answer: The simple answer is yes.
That’s the implication. The complex answer is that it’s a word. In the end, we
have our meanings behind words that may or may not match up with others’
meanings of that word. Personally, I choose not to call myself gay… ok, yes, sometimes
I do, but I don’t consider myself gay… it’s just a lot easier sometimes to
say “gay” instead of “same-sex attraction” (my friend David hit on that point
really well on a blog
post he did over two years ago). And I’ll be honest, sometimes I’ll use the
word gay to catch people’s eye when I share a post on Facebook. I promise; it
works. For me though, no, I do not consider myself gay. However, the label is
arbitrary to some. For example, Josh
Weed refers to himself as gay, even though he’s married to a woman. My
friend Benjamin
calls himself gay, though he has no plans to leave the church or anything of
the sort. In the end, here’s the thing: “gay”
is a just word and it often changes meaning depending on who’s using it, so
know who you’re talking to and clarify the use of the word if
necessary.
Question: How do you feel SSA plays into your eternal identity? What do
you feel it will be like after this life? Will your desires be the same?
Answer: The short answer to this
question is that, in my understanding, I will not be attracted to men anymore
after this life. Some people counter this belief with Alma 34:34,
but I’ll counter that counter with Alma 41:5.
Honestly, I feel that my SSA is both a trial and a blessing in this life. It’s
a trial because I’m tempted to act out with men sexually. It’s a blessing
because I enjoy a non-sexual closeness with other men that most straight guys
don’t, because of the homophobic mindset of our culture. I thoroughly enjoy tight
hugs (not bro-hugs,
with a double pat on the back before letting go, but real
hugs) from other men and having another man’s arm around me at times. After
this life, the SSA won’t be necessary for me to feel that closeness with other
men (because there won’t be the homophobic stigma anymore). In the end, it is a
refining characteristic. It has helped me develop charity, empathy, and a
degree of humility. I believe it has made me more Christ-like. In that way, I
suppose it will never leave me. However, the sexual attraction to men will not
be a trial for me after this life anymore. I desire righteousness, so that’s
what I will receive if I live worthily.
Please send me any questions you have about SSA! I want to answer them! :) Either leave them in the comments or email me (spencer3101@gmail.com)!
The fact that the church used the word Gay in the name of its new site leads me to believe that a broader definition is generally accepted. I prefer saying that "I experience same-gender (or sex) attraction rather than saying I'm homosexual or gay. Yet outside the church those phrases are not used a lot.
ReplyDeleteI think that's part of the reason the church used the word "gay". It's what people will recognize.
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